RULES

this sux. the feeling sux its a feeling hard to describe, you know when your almost about to choke but then swallowing stops you! that feeling of a hammer continuously tapping into a nail non-stop! i hate this!

and to all the mother fuckers out there who think depressed people aren't grateful, SHUT THE FUK UP. coz bitch I'm grateful. yeh i fucked up but that's me. I'm not grateful for who i am but more grateful for the person deep down inside me!

I'm Sarah, non hardworking fool that loves to dream play pretend and imagine all the fuking time like snap the fuk out of it! i have no self guidance I'm so confused right now. i hear general stories about general people and how they love there life and i think to myself hey, i can do better than that. well no! I'm stuck in a wishing well busy trying to make other peoples wishes come true.

this feeling wont go away unless i find a solution, but how? were do i start if i have no self guidance and i don't no what the matter is? maybe there's too much going on maybe i just have to take things slow! but what if the slowness is the thing that's killing me, already halfway through the year and i feel like I've gone no were! I'm really unhappy with my mentality. why do i give a blind eye to things that are just so beautiful and the things that are understanding. i look so hard to find something. and when i do find that something i feel like I've found nothing.

i recently purchased….. yes purchased not invested, a ipad, i thought i was going to be excited but its not coming to me, its more of a yeah whatever kind of thing. maybe coz it costs soo much money and that i know that I'm gonna cop it from my brothers and sisters!

speaking of copping it from brothers and sisters, hell that just explains it all! i have once again for the millionth time in my living period, gave shit and hard time to my sister rim. yes her name is ‘Rim’! i cant help but buckle every time i speak to her. she makes me so nervous, i ask myself, have i done anything wrong am i crossing the line were am i and what  am i doing! is that normal. i am soooooooo sick of fucking rules! like fuck i just want to go out there and dance and never come to this hoe we so call sweet!

imagine being compared to people that you fucking hate so much you wish they were non existent. fuck this feeling. fuk everything. fuk you!

SARAH