When i feel that i am doing something that i really don’t want to do, i do a very little bit of it just to see how i am going. like for example studying for H.S.C week, hell i don’t study at all its just not my thing. okay, so I'm willing to go through my notes ands just read over papers. last night i set my phone alarm at 8:00 so i can give my self an hour to get ready. this morning mums at the door of my room telling me the time, she gives me the option of waking up or not and if i don’t it wont surprise her coz its usually 2;30 in the afternoon for me. but no i get a different reaction from one person only, instead i got a “WAKE UP NOW”!! why though, so i can study. don’t fucking force me to do something i don’t want to do. i was doing fine till that moment. like i was going to actually study and show people what i can do but she honestly made me feel like shit. like you know that dumb feeling like getting forced to wake up in the morning and study is just not my thing and then i get the same lecture like “when i was your age” blahhhhhh i don't giveeeee that was you and i am me!
The reason why i am totally unmotivated for the exams is only because i know that if i study it wont make a difference and plus i am not ready for the stress to be experienced again. you should see me in trial week, it was sooo …. indescribable you feel like excreta and less !
So okay i know I'm hitting you guys with another tantrum hissy fitt but i just don’t get this! like i understand H.S.C and why you have to do it but the fact that doing it bye force.
Sarah ♥
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